Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
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