the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
