I want to walk on stilts...naked
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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