I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
