My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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