Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
