Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
