Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
