I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Pants are for mortals
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
