Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
