just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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