I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
