This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
