they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
