Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Randomize
