My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
