that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
