I cockslap morals
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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