i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize