just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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