i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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