I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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