i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
