ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Shame - the story of my life.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
