I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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