How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Be still, my beating vagina.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
