remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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