there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
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