..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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