Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I need to align my fucking chakras
Please don't give away my fajitas
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
