Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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