I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize