its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I have aggressive nipples.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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