Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
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