also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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