I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
