apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
