I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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