We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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