You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
