would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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