I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Randomize
