hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize