Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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