haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
