You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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