were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
