Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Randomize
