I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
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