They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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