I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
