My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Randomize
