O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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