TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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