It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I need to calm my uterus...
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
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