this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
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