So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
