Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize