Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
