her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
