This dress was meant to end up on your floor
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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