hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
