He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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