I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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