So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
