A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
