You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
The struggles of a small town man whore
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
