Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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