I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
