we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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